Something cropped up recently where I hadn’t updated someone on something since January. And I realized it’s May. And I’m wondering what happened to the months in between because that’s wild.
I’m calling this one a newsletter but it’s kind of a blog and reminds me of my old Mustard Stains blog that started as a place to bitch about work and then when I got sick, a place to vent about bad wigs and the pesky little boob that gave me such trouble. (You little minx!)
I’m looking forward to the summer for obvious reasons: a break from teaching (which did get better as the year wore on but at one point I was really, really doubting whether I was on the right path). I think the real problem was I was a little depressed/bummed about The Sham coming out RIGHT at the peak of back-to-school chaos. I couldn’t dedicate the time to it that I wanted. I also was trying to finish up a draft of something else and overall just making myself unnecessarily crazy. When I’m hellbent on revisions / editing a draft I get very testy and highstrung and can be a total bitch. I don’t know why. I put a lot of pressure on myself and I see the clock like a ticking time bomb—I convince myself I ONLY have such and such time to work on this and oh my god it’s all whittling away…
Well, guess what! It was pretty much all for naught and this is embarrassing to admit but that last book I wrote is proving to be a failure. I can’t sell it. Crickets. I may have to “shelve” it, which is basically saying, WELP THIS THING DIDN’T WORK OUT NOW DID IT. To be fair, I think the premise just isn’t all that marketable and while I like and believe in the story, maybe now is just not the time for it. I’m taking this failure much better than the last-go round, hit with the slew of rejections (for two years!!) for The Sham before I rewrote and sold that. And I got WAY more bites on The Sham than this latest project, let me tell you. How demoralizing.
All in all: Book #1 (Hollow). Book #2 (The Sham, which is the first that was traditionally published, so maybe that’s really #1), and book #3, FAIL.
I do have a book #4. This one is like a Now and Then crossed with Erin Brokovich and set in the 90’s on Cape Cod. It follows what happens when 16-year-old Isla is smoking a blunt in the Punkhorn and she happens upon a very, very small skull in the woods by her house. I pulled inspiration from that whole fiasco with that company that’s trying to dump radioactive shit in Cape Cod Bay from the old nuclear plant. While that’s going on in the background, it’s more a story about friendship. It’s those teen years when friendships grow and shift, and the unexpected places life takes them when they’re older. I have a bit of a fear THIS one won’t be cleanly marketable either—I’ve been veering away from the clear-cut thriller/suspense style of The Sham to a less intense sort of suspense, more of a mystery? I don’t know. I’m babbling. Clearly I’m only on Draft 1 and I’m working things out.
All this to say that this summer, I hope that I’ve gotten more efficient. My gut says I’ve grown as a writer and that I can achieve that, at least. I kind of have the attitude now of like, I’m not going to be a perfectionist and dwell hard on these drafts if the premise ain’t it. I don’t want to waste my time as I have on this last one, freaking out over sentences I ended up cutting or storylines that sucked. Time will tell.
That brings me to, EARLY READERS!! I am desperate for readers - those who will be forgiving of an error-prone draft, as in - probably some plot holes I need help figuring out, and pacing. I’m looking for honest, TOUGH feedback to fix things that aren’t working. I have no ego about it.
If so, please please let me know if you’re willing to read my latest draft if that sounds interesting to you.
Oh, and sorry if this email is rambling and boring.
Let me be more boring: Nolan has a Lord Farquadd non-haircut and I’m trying to figure out what to do with it while keeping some of his crazy blonde hair. He is obsessed with lacrosse. We signed him up for this 3-5 year old thing where it’s really just them running around in chaos listening to 90’s jams and scooping up balls and putting them into a bucket. It’s awesome. Lily is going to be 12. She’s a good old girl who still loves bum scratches and snuggles.
OK that’s it.
Thank you!
XOXO,
Nikki
PS: I’ll be at South Yarmouth Library on 6/15 @ 10AM and Osterville Village Library for an author panel on 7/18 from 11-1:30! Please come if you’re in the area.